#WhatsHappening for May 4, 2016

Hey, ho kids. Happy Wednesday. 

Still the best.

I was in jury duty yesterday. I'm cool with it.

A couple of things bother me about it, though.

First- and most irritating- is that Gwinnett County's "intro to jury duty" video kicks of with touting how the United States is a constitutional democracy. This wrong. 100% wrong. It is not now and never has been a democracy of any sort.

The United States of America is a republic. It has been from it's institution. You'd think the people who makes courthouse videos would know the fucking difference.

The second thing that irritated me was how damned long it took. I was there for literally 10.5 hours. 

Two hours at the beginning, sitting and waiting. 

An hour and a half after that being questioned (at least something was going on).

Another two hours, sitting and waiting.

Another thirty minutes in the courtroom to be told I wouldn't be seated on the jury.

Another thirty minute wait.

Another two hours being questioned. 

Another hour and a half wait.

Another thirty minutes to tell me I wouldn't be seated on this jury, either, and could go home.

The wait time is just out of control.

I don't mind doing mind civic duty (though I've yet to ever be selected for a jury), but don't make me hate it from the get-go, for fuck's sake.

It's like he took douchebag lessons from Kevin Federline.

A Houston man is seeking $75,000 in damages from Justin Bieber, claiming the Canadian "singer" destroyed his cell phone as he videotaped Bieber's unsuccessful attempt to gulp down a beer bong. 

The lawsuit, filed yesterday, alleges that Bieber "scolded 

him, grabbed the phone and smashed it into pieces" destroying "photos and important information."

He's just marrying her for her mind.

Justin Verlander and Kate Upton just announced their engagement.

There's a joke in there about pitcher's mounds. I'll let you find it yourself.

Steven Tyler will be hitting the road sans Aerosmith- instead, he'll be backed by his "other" band- Loving Mary- on his "Steven Tyler... Out on a Limb" today.

The tour kicks off July 2 in Las Vegas and wraps up September 13 in Ontario.

A September 1 date at the Cobb Energy Center is on the slate.

Tickets go on sale May 14.

Birthdays today include: Lance Bass of 'N Sync; Mike Dirnt of Green Day; Randy Travis; Mick Mars of Mötley Crüe; Mike and Janet's older brother Jackie Jackson; and George Wadenius of Blood, Sweat & Tears.#Musical Birthdays.