Good morning, kids. Hope you're enjoying the weekend.
'Twas a blustery, rainy night last night for Saturday Night Karaoke- and it felt like the longest three hours I've ever spent hosting.
It's not that things were slow last night- I had a steady flow, though it tailed off- or that the wedding party was all that bad (just fucking loud- even before the music started), it just seemed like time was dragging. Normally it's only like that when there's no one there. Of course, it could also have had something to do with my still-sore back, or the tickle I was starting to feel in my throat from that ever-lingering sinus crap I deal with.
Que sera, sera- no?
One thing that did manage to work on my nerves last night was the shitfaced-even-before-10pm fellow who seemed to not care for the way I run the show.
Now, those of you who have been to one of our shows (or just know me) realize that zero is the number of fucks I give in this regard. You can't make everyone happy and ya know I don't try. What I'm shooting for is keeping things as fair as possible and giving everyone a chance to sing.
Still, (and I've said this before) I do have some rules. I really don't want to have to run through 'em every week (maybe I should, though), so here they are:
A) There are 20,000 plus songs in the songbook. Said songbook is current. That means if the song you're looking for isn't there, we don't have it. It doesn't matter that you think it's the best song ever written. This can be particularly true if it's a new song, or a song that wasn't particularly successful (karaoke is usually Top 40 based- the songs will normally need to be a big seller to be available).
If there's a song you're looking for that's not in the book, we don't mind you requesting it. Just let us know the name of the song and the artist and we'll look at whether it's available from one of the manufacturers we get songs from. Just keep in mind that this isn't going to happen during the show (open networks and hackers and all that preclude us buying anything online).
A1) No, we will not play a YouTube video for you to sing with, or for our fill-in music. It's not really legal to do that. The same goes for the MIDI you brought in on a thumb drive.
2) One- we repeat- ONE slip per person, per rotation. This includes duets, trios, groups, whatever. This goes back to the whole "we're-trying-to-be-fair-and-give-everyone-a-chance-to-sing" thing. Someone who's been waiting half an hour (or more) to sing one song is getting shafted if there's someone who's grabbing the mic during every song.
C) We don't allow you to have smokes (not a problem in no-smoking venues, but I do like to remind folks), food, or drinks while performing because accidents happen. We speak from the experience of dumping a full fucking beer into a laptop because it was sitting next to said laptop. Don't argue. I 100% do not care that the KJ at the other karaoke allows it. I don't. End of story. If you insist on doing it after being asked not to, your song will be cut off- or we'll just flat out refuse to allow you to sing.
4) Don't be a dick and ruin someone else's fun by trying to sing along with someone who hasn't invited you to share the mic. It's not fair to them, or, really, to anyone else who's waiting for their turn to sing (see 2). This includes getting right next to them and singing, or coming up to us and saying "give me a mic."
 |
| This is an ass clown. |
If we see it, we're going to intervene as politely as possible to dissuade you. How things progress from that point is entirely up to you. If we don't notice it, you might "get away" with it, but if the actual singer complains to us about it, then we have to mention it to the venue's manager. Either of these outcomes is particularly necessary if it's obvious that you're shitfaced and confrontational.
E) We operate on a "three strikes" policy. As in, we'll call a singer's name for their turn three times during the fill-in music, at something like 30 seconds intervals. If you aren't there after the third one, your turn is skipped. If you come in from off the patio, or you were in the bathroom, and you let us know- we'll work you back in (but it might not be next). Act like a jackass after we explain that and it's quite possible you never get to sing.
6) If you use some "clever" alias to sign up for a spot, though, it's your obligation to remember it- not ours. If you did and you come up just because we called what happens to be your actual name (which is a pretty goddamned common name), then start acting like a jackass because we say "no, it's their turn to sing- you didn't write down (actual name), you wrote down (some stupid shit that you think is funniest fucking joke ever, but no one else in the bar is privy- or cares- about your goddamned reference), then- yeah, your chances of getting to sing drop rapidly.
G) And I can't even believe I actually have to mention this one again: Do not threaten us. We can assure you, the end results will not be to your liking, or go according to your drunken plan. At the very least, we're going to make sure you're asked to not return for the rest of that gig or any future gigs.
As Isaac Hayes said, "can ya dig it?"
Anyway, despite this (initially just shitfaced) fellow falling into my #6 rule up there, I kept him in the queue- and called the made up name. Three times. Like usual. He didn't remember. So E is in effect.
Then, I hear a complaint about him being guilty of breaking rule #4. Which means I then have to go to the manager on duty and mention it to them. How it's handled after that is up to them. In this case, apparently, it was a suggestion that they do not approach me- or any of my singers- again. Then comes the belligerence. And he crosses the line into G territory.
Understand, then, why my nerves were being worked on?
The big news in music, of course, is that AC/DC co-founder Malcolm Young passed away yesterday after a long battle with dementia.
The band announced his death on its website and their social media pages, saying "it is with deep heartfelt sadness that AC/DC has to announce the passing of Malcolm Young." The post went on to call him "the driving force behind the band."
Malcolm Young's last show with the band was in Spain in 2010 and he officially left the group in 2014. He co-wrote the majority of the songs in the band's catalog up until their Rock Or Bust release that year.
Publicist JoAnn Geffen confirmed yesterday that David Cassidy is in a Florida hospital, suffering from organ failure.
Cassidy announced earlier this year that he, like AC/DC's Malcolm Young, was suffering from dementia.
Reports say Cassidy is in critical condition.
Flipping through channels, and there's a show on GPTV called How Not To Die. Huh... if they aren't giving us the secret to immortality, what a stupid fucking name for a show.
Rapper Meek Mill will remain in prison for now, after his emergency motion to be released on bail from his two to four-year prison sentence was denied by Pennsylvania's Superior Court today. 
The Okeechobee Music & Arts Festival has announced its lineup for its 2018 edition. Tickets are on sale now through the festival's web site.
