Thoughts from the bunker...

'Sup?

Seriously, I meant to be more diligent in writing, but... well- the road to hell and all that.

Anyway, here's what's on my mind this morning as I enjoy my coffee: People who get pissy because I won't take a verbal request.

I have it posted on Facebook (along with instructions). I have a sign on the plastic "shield" that I use around the table I set up on (with a QR code that links directly). To sign up to sing, you must use the online portal. I try to be polite about this. I smile and point to the QR code while telling people they must sign up digitally. If the person looks confused, I ask them if their phone has a QR code reader or offer them a printout of instructions of how to do so.

When the person who doesn't "get" still looks puzzled, I (basically) say exactly what it says on the little sign "we don't take verbal or written requests- please use the online portal like everyone else does". This is not to be difficult, this is to minimize the amount of time we spend exchanging germs (if you don't understand that, I suspect you're a big part of the reason that nearly one million of your fellow citizens have died in the past two plus years).

Getting belligerent or complaining that "it's too confusing" or "it's too hard" or "it's too much to do" makes even less sense- it's literally a "scan the code" and follow directions deal. It doesn't require you set up an account. It doesn't require a credit card- or any other fee. Scan the code. Click the search feature. Type in a song or artist. Click on the one you want. You type in your name. Click on submit. Done. In the time you spend arguing with me, you could have already submitted your song.

And it's exactly the same process I'd have to go through were you to turn in slips or if I took verbal requests- plus you can do it from the comfort of your barstool, booth, or table without me having to lug around an extra 20 pounds of notebooks, pens, and request slips, and you don't have to touch said items that have been passed around by hundreds (or thousands, maybe) of germ-riddled hands. If that's too complicated for you- well... I got nothing nice to say. Perhaps you should stay home and work on your reading, comprehension, and computer/tech skills. If the older (i.e., less tech savvy) folks who are able to handle using our digital platform (and they are), there's no reason you can't.

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While I'm on a roll, what is it about "please stay back" don't people get?

As mentioned a few paragraphs ago, we (the United States) are approaching one million dead from COVID (a number we'll hit some time in the next few weeks) and people still insist on being up in each other's personal space??? Guess what, numbnuts? We're going through "waves" (and probably will for a long time). We're on the leading edge of another one right now.  

I've gotten the vaccine. I've also gotten a booster shot. But, I ended up getting COVID anyway. It sucked. A lot. So it only caused you a headache? A mild cough? Whatever symptoms you think are "no big deal"? Congratulations on having a healthier immune system than I do (or someone else does) or being in better shape or whatever. I don't enjoy that luxury. 

It knocked me on my ass for four days- fever (102+ for 36 hours or so), headache, cough, aches, chills. Had I not been vaccinated, I'm pretty sure I'd have ended up nothing but "a statistic on a government chart." So, when I ask you to please step back, don't give me attitude. 

"Acting the ass" is not a battle you will win with me- even if it wasn't about something that could, quite literally, mean life or death. Just STAY THE FUCK BACK.

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A few further notes about our digital platform:

- Again, if you don't have a QR code reader on your phone or tablet, that's cool. Please check your table or ask for a printed set of instructions for using your device's browser to sign up.

- While the platform is set (by me) to limit requests to three at a time, this is not the maximum number of songs you can sign up for in an evening. Once one of your songs is in queue, you can sign up for another. Keep in mind, though, my policy of singers getting one turn per rotation is one I've had in effect for the entire time I've been doing karaoke (which is a long fucking time). 

It is now, and always has been, an effort to keep people from "domineering" the night. (Side note, if you'd like to be the only one singing, please contact me via email about hiring me for a private karaoke show where you can do just that.) And, oh yeah (as it always has), a duet counts as a turn. If you have three solo songs and three duets turned in, you're still only getting one turn per rotation- either one of your duets or one of your solos. Whichever one was turned in first is the one that'll be in the queue. 

- Requests are (generally) put in the rotation a first come, first served basis (though your interactions with me can absolutely impact whether I'm diligent about your spot in the order), and the rotation's first round (normally) won't turn over until everyone who's signed up gets their turn. That is another attempt to be as fair as possible. Sure, there might be some folks who get to sing more songs than you did. That's usually because they signed up early (like, as soon as they were able). If you wander in an hour an a half into the show and don't sign up for another thirty minutes- don't be surprised that you've heard "Joe" sing two songs while you only get one in.

- You don't need me to tell you when your turn to sing is coming. Please click on the "Current queue" button, and you'll see where your spot in the rotation falls (note, this order may be shuffled to accommodate new singers- or if you're an asshole). It should also give you an approximate time frame for your wait time.

- We have no/nein/non/zilch/zero control over the venue's WiFi network. Because of this, we use our phone's Hotspot to connect to the internet. I'm not saying it won't fail, but it hasn't yet. If you are having trouble accessing the sign up page, we suggest you turn off the WiFi on your phone and use your phone's data to connect to the sign up page (this is the default setting for most phones).

Hope this helps- and THANK YOU for being a part of our karaoke "family." See you soon!