And now, a message from management...

The fact that I have to post these words makes me sad. And irritates the fuck out of me, too. But some people evidently need a reminder.

I’d like to think it’s pretty obvious that I try to be fair to everyone (though I will freely admit to maybe "bumping up" the folks who drop a gratuity in the jar) and make sure everyone gets a turn and has fun. (This, of course, flies out the window when your party comes in late and the queue is already full. I want to go home when I’m supposed to- just like you want to leave work at the end of your shift and not have to stay longer than your eight hours or whatever).

I’d also like to think it’s pretty well known that I don’t do much in the way of censorship during my shows. The sheer volume of profanities that flow from the hole in my face should be enough to dispel any notions along that path.

My only rules regarding language have long been limited to:

- No racial slurs.

- No homophobic slurs.

While I am a staunch supporter of the First Amendment, you need to realize that I am also a private citizen. These two rules exist mainly because I don’t want to hear that shit, and- seeing as the mics and PA belong to me... well, it's akin to me saying "I'm gonna take my toys and go home," I guess.

My telling you before your song starts that you are not to use certain language that’s in the lyrics is also for your protection- I’m keeping you from getting your ass beat when I refuse to allow you to broadcast that stupidity over the PA at high volume and someone besides me hears it and takes offence.

Really, though- wouldn’t it seem to be common sense not to use such language in, say, a bar, grocery store, town meeting? Or pretty much anywhere besides your Klan meeting or American Nazi Party rally?

So, if I’m in the bar/venue ahead of the show- maybe using the restroom- and you come in, yucking it up with your "bro-ski" about how you "said n----r please" to whoever you're talking about in your story (not just once, but over and over during the minute and a half it took me to finish up and wash my hands), then go back to your table of "bro-skis" that's just eight feet from where I’m set up and then proceeded to rant about whether or not it was "cool" if you use that word (all the while actually saying it no less than 10 times in the 10 minutes or so I was sitting there)- I’m pretty much guaranteed to refuse to serve you (which, in my case, means I’m not going to let you sing your shitty rendition of whatever undoubtedly redneck anthem you’re wanting to perform).

Hell, I'm probably going to even make management aware of my stance.

And I’m going to be civil about it. I’m going to say (as I did in the example I’m referring to) "sorry, you were being pretty racist with the language and I’m going to have to say 'no'." 

Pissing and moaning about it? That’s on you. I’m going to continue to be civil. I’m probably even going bid you "have a good night" (as I did in the same example). Up to a point.

When you then go to bitch to the bar manager about how I'm being racist because you're Mexican (all the while completely omitting the part where you, yourself, were being racist prick) and he comes to ask me about, I'm still going to be civil. Up to a point.

Keep fucking pushing though, whining that you "don't even know what (you) said that was so bad" and, eventually, I'm going to snap. I'm going to tell you how I don't appreciate your continued use of that language while and suggest you go back to wherever it is that you came from where it is okay. 

No- I don't care that your party of six that's drinking cheap beer and yucking it up will take your business elsewhere. I'm equally unfazed by the fact that you think I suck. I'm not interested in the accolades of a bunch of gigantic fucktards such as yourselves, and give an equal amount of fucks (zero) that you and said "bro-skis" are "in town from Michigan for a business meeting and wanted to have a good time" because not everyone in Georgia is a bigoted fuck- no matter how whatever A&E "reality" show you've been watching might portray us.

So, like I said, go back to whatever shithole you fucking crawled out of where that kind of language and behavior is acceptable- because with me, they're not.

One last thing: If you're too fucking stupid to realize that Mexican is a fucking nationality, then I've got even less use for you. To me, your being a fucking dumbass is almost as offensive to me as your being a bigot.