#WhatsHappening for August 30, 2016

Let me get this out of the way first: Why the fuck does MTV still hold the Video Music Awards when they never show any fucking music videos and instead bombard us with a never-fucking-ending onslaught of fuckery like Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, Teen Wolf and whatever other fucktarded crap they show?

The murderer of John Lennon will stay in jail for at least two more years.

The New York state Board of Parole announced Monday that Mark David Chapman had been denied parole for the ninth time for the December 1980 shooting of the former Beatle outside Manhattan apartment.

Rot there, ya bastard.

Chapman pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and is serving a sentence of 20-years to life.

In announcing its decision, the parole board noted that Chapman has since described the murder as "selfish and evil" and concluded that the factors supporting Chapman's parole were outweighed by the premeditated and "celebrity-seeking" nature of the crime.

"Your release would be incompatible with the welfare of society and would so deprecate that At a 2010 hearing, Chapman said that he had considered shooting Johnny Carson or Elizabeth Taylor instead, and chose Lennon because the ex-Beatle was more accessible because his apartment building "wasn't quite as cloistered."

Slash has been forced to lower the asking price of his LA mansion to $9.5 million after it failed to find any buyers at the original, $11 million asking price.

The 11,000-square-foot house was initially put up for sale in June of last year and includes six bedrooms, eight bathrooms, a swimming pool with an outdoor bar, a skate ramp and large kitchen with double islands. The lower level features a nightclub with a DJ booth, LED lights, a pole-dancing pole and photo booth and there is a recording studio, screening theater, and wine cellar.

Poor thing, having to settle for $9 million.

Suck it, 2016.

Dolly Parton is at the top of the Billboard Top Country Albums chart for the first time in 25 years, with the chart topping debut of Pure & Simple.

This is Parton's seventh number one on the chart and the first since Eagle When She Flies resided there in May of 1991.

"Boy, it's a good day for me. I am a happy girl!," Parton said. "It feels great to be No. 1, as it's been a long time, and it feels so good to still be in the game after all this time."

Birthdays today include: George Ryan Ross III of Panic! At The Disco; Rich Cronan of LFO; Paul Oakenfold; Martin Jackson of Swing Out Sister; Ronald Beitle of Wild Cherry; Horace Panter of General Public; and Micky Moody of Whitesnake. #MusicalBirthdays

Just stop.

R.I.P., you wonderfully entertaining man.

Descanse en paz, Señor.

The media office for Mexican superstar Juan Gabriel says the singer has died today at age 66.  He was Mexico's leading singer-songwriter and top-selling artist, with sales of more than 100 million albums.

#WhatsHappening for August 23, 2016

Hey-o, cats and kittens. Hope you're doing well. 

I think I mentioned a few weeks ago that there were a number of songs removed from the songbook when I reprinted them. Of course, that means a few people have approached me to ask where certain songs were now. 

"They was in the book last time I was here" I'm told, to which it takes every fucking ounce of self control I have not to scream "and they fucking sucked then, too!"

Former 3 Doors Down guitarist Matt Roberts, who left the band in 2012 due to health reasons, was found dead in West Bend, Wisconsin over the weekend.

Roberts was supposed to perform at a benefit for veterans and was there with his father. Police responded to a call on Saturday morning reporting an unconscious man in a hotel hallway and found Roberts dead.

His father told CNN his room key "didn’t work and (Matt) went and came back in just a few minutes and got me a new key. He opened the door for me and he said ‘just make sure you open the adjoining room in case you need anything.’ He was always looking out for me" and that was the last time he saw his son alive.

Police say there were no signs of trauma and that the cause of death is currently unknown. An autopsy has been scheduled for Sunday, but the findings have not been released.

The Olympics are finally over (until 2018) at least. Thank fucking goodness.

Australian dance duo Empire of the Sun has some big names appearing on their upcoming album, Two Vines. 

The album, due out October 28, features contributions from Fleetwood Mac's Lindsey Buckingham, Wendy Melvoin- who was part of the Revolution, and David Bowie's Blackstar band members Henry Hey and Tim Lefebvre.

The album's first single, "High and Low," will be released tomorrow.

Gloria Trevi, Sin Bandera and Jesse & Joy will headline the 2016 Latin Grammy Acoustic Sessions, leading up to the 17th annual Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas.

Duo Sin Bandera and Carlos Rivera kick off the concert series in Los Angeles on September 21- the day nominees are announced.

Trevi  will perform in Dallas on October 12, while Jesse & Joy will wrap up the series in Miami on October 25.

"These exclusive events pave the way towards the biggest night in Latin music while allowing Latin music fans to celebrate together, in a true intimate setting, with some of today's most esteemed artists," said Gabriel Abaroa Jr., president/CEO of the Latin Recording Academy.

Get it?

Sprint's new spokesperson looks like no less a douchebag now than he did when he was walking around asking if you could hear him now.

From the "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?" department: The worst fucking movie ever made is getting yet another sequel.

I remember all the hype. I watched with an open mind. I wanted to enjoy it. 

At the end of it, I looked at my roommate, who'd just come in from work and said "I can't believe I just pissed away 81 minutes of my life on that colossal piece shit."

What a way to take a pretty neat premise and then piss right the fuck all over it with some many irritating fucking contrivances that I wouldn't have enjoyed the fucking thing even if they'd had good actors and coherent story. Fuck you, Blair Witch.

Just... no.

I was saddened to read of the death of actor Steven Hill, who most notably played DA Adam Schiff on Law & Order for the show's first ten seasons. He was 94.

A plaque to commemorate David Bowie's time in the then-divided city of Berlin in the late 1970s was unveiled yesterday by mayor Michael Mueller- who recalled the singer's "special relationship" with the city while unveiling the plaque at the building where Bowie lived from 1976 to 1978.

Bowie's albums Low and Heroes were made in West Berlin, and the plaque quotes the refrain from the latter's title track - "We can be heroes, just for one day."

Aretha Franklin has cancelled a number of her upcoming shows to rest, according to a statement released yesterday.

The statement said that "due to doctors' orders I will have to cancel a few concerts for the next month or so."
The 74 year old said her August 26 show at the Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts and two shows at Radio City Music Hall are among the cancellations, as well as the Tony Bennett Celebrates 90 show and a solo gig on September 23.

She said she hopes to be back on the road in November.

Birthdays today include:  SkyBlu of LMFAO; Julian Casablancas of The Strokes; Cedella Marley of Ziggy Marley & The Melody Makers; Shaun Ryder of Happy Mondays; Dean DeLeo of Stone Temple Pilots; Edwyn Collins; and Rick Springfield. #MusicalBirthdays

#WhatsHappening for August 18, 2016

Headline on nme.com: "David Schwimmer says he wanted to 'hide under a baseball cap' after 'Friends' success". He was the whiny one, right?

Lorde, Tom Waits, and Chris Cornell are among the judges for this year's International Songwriting Competition.
The annual songwriting contest lets aspiring songwriters to have their songs heard on professional level. Winners share cash and other prizes, as well as receive recognition for their craft. 

Judges this year will also include Avicii, Kesha, Bastille, India.Arie, Donovan, Hardwell, Ziggy Marley, and Keane.
Past winners include Vance Joy, Gotye, Bastille, The Band Perry, Kimbra, Passenger, Kasey Chambers, Andrew Bird and more (people I've only vaguely heard of).

Officials at Graceland say a new entertainment complex will be built across the street from the former home of Elvis Presley.

The $45 million complex will include exhibits that highlight the late singer's life and career exploits in music and film, according to the announcement released last Thursday, and will include a 450 room hotel that's scheduled to open October 27.

An appeals court has ruled that Live Nation will not be liable for $3.2 million in damages originally awarded to photographer Glen Friedman for the company's use of the photographer's images of Run-DMC without his permission.
The court held that Friedman's copyrights were infringed, but he would not be allowed to recover statutory damages from each of the retailers that sold the items.
"[A] jury could reasonably conclude that Live Nation’s approval procedures amounted to recklessness or willful blindness with respect to Friedman’s intellectual property rights," according to circuit judge Marsha S. Berzon.
"From the face of the documents, one could conclude that they are directed at design decisions, not the rights to the photographs. Nor do the specific forms signed by Run-DMC indicate in any way that the group was clearing the legal right to use the photographs, on their own behalf or anyone else’s."

It was on this day in 1962 that Ringo Starr made his debut with the Beatles at the horticultural society dance in Birkenhead, England. The rest, as they say, is history.

Birthdays today include: Eric Strody of Everlast; Ron Strykert of Men At Work; Dennis Elliot of Foreigner; and Nona Hendryx. #MusicalBirthdays

#WhatsHappening for August 16, 2016

Hi kids, what's shaking?

I know I'm probably in the minority here, but I can't wait for the fucking Olympics to be finished.

Ooh, the majesty. The competition. The sportsmanship.

The complete and utter bullshit.

There are no "amateur" athletes anymore.

Jesse Owens had it rough. Michael Phelps has million dollar endorsement deals. Put a lid on that "pain and suffering" shit that Olympic athletes go through (these comments are directed at the "first world" athletes- not the guy outer Bumfuckistan who practiced his marathon skills running through gunfire). The majority of these people have been coddled and pandered to their whole fucking life just because they can throw a ball, or run fast, or jump over stuff.

The "inspiring" stories that pop up everywhere are pap, plain and simple- pandering to the lowest common denominator to get Ma and Pa Heartland to tune in for more endless droning and promos for still more coverage.

And then I see some shit like that Hope Solo chick throwing a fucking temper tantrum because her team lost? Yeah- all class there. 

So excuse me if I'm not falling all over myself in awe of "the Olympic spirit."

Barbara Gibb- mother of the brothers Gibb- passed away last Friday at age 95.

Gibb, who'd lived in Miami for the past 20 years, helped her husband managed their sons' early career as the Bee Gees.

Too soon?

Folk singer Glenn Yarbrough, who walked away from his group the Limeliters as their star was rising in the 60s, died last week at his daughter’s home in Nashville from complications of dementia. He was 86.

Yarbrough left the group in 1963 to "spend the next decade at sea", but RCA, his label at the time, persuaded him to record solo albums instead.

Yarbrough used the proceeds from his career to establish a school for disadvantaged children in the 60s, but it closed in the 70s when further funding couldn't be secured.

Is it just me, or does Skrillex look like Corey Feldman?

Chazz Smith, a cousin of the late Prince, said family members and close friends gathered in Minneapolis to say goodbye to the musician and remember his life at a Minneapolis church last Friday. Another private service was at Paisley Park on Saturday.

Smith says the family is doing its best to preserve Prince's image as others have come forward with false stories about the superstar, and that he is proud to be Prince's cousin. He added that he hopes Prince's death from an overdose will somehow help others struggling with addiction. A public tribute for Prince is scheduled for October at U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis.

The Playboy mansion has sold for $100,000,000. 

Yep. That's right- a "1" and eight zeros. And that was half of the asking price.

Hugh Hefner will continue to occupy the mansion for the remainder of his life at $1 million a year for rent. 

Sheryl Crow will have some big named guests on her next album.

Appearing at the BlogHer16 conference in LA earlier this month, Crow told the crowd that Stevie Nicks and Keith Richards would be among the guest stars on her upcoming disc.

She also added that she has been cancer-free for 10 years after undergoing treatment for breast cancer in 2006.

Pitbull is being sued by his former manager. Charles Chavez and his Latium Entertainment company filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court seeking over $1 million in compensation, alleging breach of oral agreement and breach of the implied covenant of good faith and fair dealing.

The plaintiffs say that when Chavez and Pitbull began working together in March 2007, they entered into an “oral agreement at that time,” stating Latium would receive 10 percent of Pitbull’s revenues from “all business derived from activities on which Chavez worked, regardless of when those revenues were received" and that the proceeds have not been paid since Chavez stopped representing the performer in 2015.

Representatives for both sides have declined to comment.

Birthdays today include: Vanessa Carlton; Emily Erwin of Dixie Chicks; Chris Pedersen of Camper Van Beethoven; Madonna; Tim Farriss of INXS; James "J.T." Taylor of Kool & The Gang; and Barry Hay of Golden Earring. #MusicalBirthdays

This is my favorite Madonna video. Not

because the song's all that great- but that

outfit she's wearing while she's dancing

around- DAMN!

This woman is 62. I'm 48 and look like 100 lbs of shit in a 50 lb bag.

John Mellencamp should team up with Billy Joel, Rick Ocasek and all of the Rollings Stones to do a song called "Holy Shit, How Did Such A Beautiful Woman Fall For Me (And Oh God, Why Did I Fuck It Up)?"

#WhatsHappening for August 9, 2016

How do, kiddios. Hope your week is okay so far. I'm still battling sinus issues, so my sunny personality may not shine through quite so brightly.

Remember when Frank Langella was a pretty well respected actor, as opposed to playing a moron who can't tell an apartment from a restaurant in a nacho commercial?

HBO’s Game of Thrones is going on tour. Yes, you read that right.

At a fan event yesterday in LA, it was announced that the show’s composer, Ramin Djawadi, would conducting an 80-piece orchestra and choir through some of the series’ musical pieces on the tour, which kicks off in February at Kansas City’s Spring Center.

Djawadi said the tour has "been a couple of years in the planning. We really wanted to make it a special event. We wanted it to be an immersive experience so that when you’re walking into the [arena], you are in Westeros."

The show will stop at Philips Arena on March 16, and tickets go on sale Saturday via LiveNation.com.

Led Zeppelin may have won the war, but they didn't win all the battles. 

The judge in the the copyright case over "Stairway to Heaven" ruled yesterday that the band's songwriters, record label and associated companies were not entitled to legal fees and other costs because the copyright lawsuit against them was not frivolous.

Attorneys for Led Zeppelin sought legal and other fees totaling $793,000 because insurance companies would not cover such an old claim. 

The judge said he found the lawsuit had sufficient merit to go to trial and there was no evidence the plaintiff "harbored nefarious motives" even though Zeppelin's lawyers succeeded at trial and had shown a right to compensation.

For all of you waiting for an N*Sync reunion (what the hell is wrong with you?)...

The British tabloid newspaper The Sun says a source with the National Football League told them “There is nobody bigger in the world than Adele right now and organizers are doing absolutely everything they can to try to persuade her to sign up. She’s sold out every date on her tour, everyone wants a piece of her and they know they can bank on her bringing in the viewers. It’s Adele’s nerves that are the issue- it hasn’t been an easy sell."

A rep for the singer offered no comment and the NFL did not respond to requests for comment. 

I swear, they either get it spot on (Springsteen, Prince) or just shit the bed (Coldplay, Black Eyed Peas, etc.).

Birthdays today include: Arion Salazar of Third Eye Blind; Aimee Mann; Kurtis Blow; and Marinus Gerritsen of Golden Earring. #MusicalBirthdays

#WhatsHappening for August 4, 2016

Hey, ho kids.

It's almost Friday, and I'm good with that. 

Dear Chili's-

I've never visited one of your restaurants because I'm not keen on the chain-style menu you offer. Even if I did though, the retro-douchery of your commercial pretty much guarantees I won't be darkening your doors. Even if the music in the spot is cool.

Byron Williams, former bodyguard for Eminem, told interviewers on the "Murder Master Show" that Suge Knight had put a hit on the the rapper. 

Williams says the supposed hit was to take place at the Source Awards, where, Williams said, "historically…someone always got shot." 

"That was our first encounter with Suge Knight and his henchman. Em was going to his seat. The way they had the seating was all messed up and the bodyguards couldn’t sit with the artists. I think that was by design ’cause I think they really wanted the artists to be able to network with each other, but it also gives people who got beef with other artists to get at them."

Williams said the rapper was "beefing with all these guys in red shirts [indicating that they were affiliated with the Bloods, like Knight]…I had to bust through the middle man and snatch him up. Like, 'Hey man what the hell’s going on up here?' This is exactly what they said, 'Death Row, motherfucker, Death Row.'"

Williams says he "took control" of the situation, thanks in part to Eminem collaborator Dr. Dre, and his bodyguards. "We were in beast mode the whole time," says Williams. 

Billboard headline: "Panic! at the Disco Shares 'Bohemian Rhapsody' Cover From 'Suicide Squad' Soundtrack"

Because I needed another reason not to see the movie.

Business Insider reports that social music site Crowdmix has been sold to its top investor, Nick Candy- despite the fact that the company never released the actual app it was supposed to be developing. and it reportedly had trouble paying its employees.

Crowdmix describes itself as a place that "gets people together around the stuff they love" where they can join or create "crowds" for sharing music, videos and photos. The App is supposed to feature a feed of posts from both users, artists, and streaming music through third-party services like Spotify.

Lauryn Hill is hitting the road with The MLH Carvan: A Diaspora Calling! tour. A press release for the tour says each show will include guest performances by artists "from throughout the African diaspora."

"The MLH Caravan allows me to continue the theme of unity and celebration of the many facets of cultural and artistic beauty throughout the African diaspora while on tour this summer and fall," Hill said in a statement. "In these days of tension, tumult and transition, an exchange of this kind can yield direction, expression, understanding and empowerment as well as connection, self Love and appreciation that hopefully overflows into our respective communities."

The tour kicks off later this month in Philadelphia and includes a September stop at Chastain. 

Birthdays today include: Marques Houston of Immature; Paul Reynolds of A Flock Of Seagulls; Ian Broudie of Lightning Seeds; Maire Ni Bhraonian of Clannad; Paul Layton of the New Seekers; Klaus Schultze of Tangerine Dream. Today is also the 115th anniversary of the birth of the great Louis Armstrong. #MusicalBirthdays

#WhatsHappening for August 1, 2016

Hey, hi, howdy kids. Hope Monday wasn't too cruel for you.

Country singer Cole Swindell will join Mark Cuban, Sara Foster, and former winner Sharlene Wells Hawkes as judges for this year's Miss America pageant
Additional judges will be announced in the coming weeks, according to an announcement today from the pageant, Dick Clark Productions, and ABC.
Chris Harrison and Sage Steele will co-host the show, which airs live from Atlantic City on September 11.

A study from the University of Pennsylvania has found that crowdfunding site Kickstarter has lead to the creation og over 8,000 companies and 29,000 full time jobs since its launch- and 283,000 part time jobs, to boot.
An examination of 61,654 successful Kickstarter projects from 2009 thru 2015 and found that the site generated $5.3 billion for creators and their communities.
"Successful crowdfunding projects have implications that go beyond the interactions of the backers and creators who participate in projects," said the professor who ran the study. "Crowdfunding campaigns lead to new organizations that ultimately generate billions in non-crowdfunding revenue and have hired thousands of employees."

A California woman who collapsed in a parking lot after the Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas last month died from drug intoxication and high heat, according to the Clark County coroner.
Cocaine and ecstasy were found in the woman's system, according to medical examiners' findings. Her death was ruled an accident.
Despite the findings, the woman's father blamed heat stroke and dehydration for her death, and said he believes the risks to festival-goers from heat and drugs is preventable.
Yeah- how about you teach your fucking kid about the dangers of being a dumbass.
Look, I'm not going to pretend I've never tried drugs- they're just not something I ever really enjoyed. Pot didn't do anything but make me sleepy and cocaine gave me a nose bleed.
I was smart enough to realize that I'd get in a lot less trouble being drunk underage than I would if I got busted for drug possession/use/whatever.

Duncan Jones and his wife welcomed their first child, Stenton David Jones, on July 10- exactly six months to the day after the death of Jones' father, David Bowie.
Congratulations to the new parents.
And I'm sad again.

And, speaking of sad... Prince's family just got a whole lot smaller after the Minnesota judge barred 29 people from seeking a share of the late star’s multi-million dollar estate.
Carver County District Judge Kevin Eide allowed a possible niece and grandniece to continue to pursue their claims, saying they may submit to genetic testing to prove a blood relationship, as will Prince’s sister Tyka and three of Prince’s half-siblings.
Eide tossed out all other claims on Friday, including those of 11 people who claimed to be Prince's siblings and half-siblings.
The order did not mention two of Prince's half-brothers, who presumably will not require genetic testing to prove their relationship to Prince because they have the same mother.

Birthdays today include: Adam Duritz of Counting Crows; Coolio; Chuck D of Public Enemy; Suzi Gardner of L7; Joe Elliot of Def Leppard; Michael Penn; Robert Cray; Tim Bachman of Bachman-Turner Overdrive; and Boz Burrell of Bad Company. #MusicalBirthdays